Aftermath – Part Two – A New Beginning

By: Anne Corke

Mar 13 2014

Tags: , ,

Category: Life stories

1 Comment

Aperture:f/5
Focal Length:43.432mm
ISO:100
Shutter:1/320 sec
Camera:Canon PowerShot SX10 IS

Last Friday, I was sitting with my morning cuppa and it suddenly occurred to me that I was feeling happy. It was such a nice change. At first I felt a bit guilty but then I realized that Gary would want me to be happy. So although I am still dealing with my grief, I look forward to more happy days in the future. Most of the time, I can talk about Gary and our life together, but every now and then something will remind me of him and I’ll start to cry. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never see him again. I had a nice chat with my GP about the grieving process. She advised me to look after myself, to cut myself some slack and to live one day at a time, knowing that the bad days won’t last forever.

I find that the things that Gary and I enjoyed together still make me smile, the birds at the feeder, a brilliant blue sky, a silvery sliver of a new moon, the coyotes howling in the back fields, a drive in the country in the spring sunshine. All the good things in life are still there to be treasured and in my mind, I’m still sharing these things with Gary. To others it may seem that he has disappeared, but to me, he’s still very much a part of my life, and Jeremy’s too. I get such pleasure out of watching Jeremy working on Gary’s model railroad on Sunday afternoons. Most of what he’s learned about modelling, he learned from his Dad, and I’m sure Gary is looking over his shoulder, checking on his progress. Sophie still sleeps all alone in the living room. Occasionally she barks for her Daddy, but less and less. I wonder how long the dogs remember absent family, probably longer than we imagine. But they don’t fret about things as we do. I don’t know what I’d do without Sophie and Danny, they are such good company.

Although we’ve just endured another blast of winter weather, there’s a hint of spring in the air. The other morning, I opened the back door to a robin singing in the birch tree. Chickadees are singing their spring songs too. And crows are gathering sticks for their nests. I look forward to spring, the season of renewal, of rebirth. I have a feeling that spring will soothe my sad soul and set me on the path to a new beginning.

Copyright 2014 Anne Corke

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One comment on “Aftermath – Part Two – A New Beginning”

  1. So beautifully written and heartfelt, Anne. Thank you so much for sharing this.


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